Loving Your Wife in Word and Deed

There are countless ways to demonstrate your love, but women still like to hear it spoken. Open and continuing communication is key.

My father-in-law used to brag (presumably tongue-in-cheek), “I told my wife I love her on our wedding day and promised to let her know if that ever changes.”

His implication was clear: Once should be enough.

But it isn’t.

Tell Your Wife Your Love Her...Not for most women. Not by a long shot.

Once a day would be a closer approximation, and even that may still fall a little short of how often your wife would like to hear verbal assurances of your love.

Of course, words not backed with action are meaningless: Remember Christ’s parable of a father who asked his two sons to come work in the field with him?

The first son said, “Sure. I’ll be right there,” but never showed up.

The other son initially refused, but later regretted it, sought out his father, and worked alongside him for the rest of the day.

The question Jesus then posed to his listeners is this: Which son actually obeyed? The same principle applies to love as applies to obedience.

If forced to choose between the two, your wife would probably rather have you demonstrate your love for her through your actions without expressing it in so many words than to have you repeatedly declare, “I love you,” then behave in a way that contradicts what you’ve said.

Hollow affirmations don’t carry a lot of clout.

But why make her choose, when it’s within your power to do both?

Show her you love her. Yes, by all means. But then speak your love, as well.

Tell her you love her. Tell her how much you love her. Tell her what you love most about her.

Tell her clearly. Tell her sincerely. Tell her often. Then back it all up in the way you treat her.


This post is adapted from my new book, 25 Ways to Show Love to Your Wife: A Handbook for Husbands, on sale now. Pick up your copy today and give your wife the gift of LOVE — in both word and deed.


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